Why your hip, knee, or back pain isn't "just part of getting older" (and why you deserve better answers)

I had a conversation with a friend today that broke my heart and fired me up at the same time.

She's been dealing with hip pain for years that recently seemed to flare up again after starting a more intense exercise regimen than what she was used to. Acupuncture helps temporarily. Massage provides some relief, but it never lasts. She practices yoga, tries to walk and hike, but now she feels like she can't do anything without discomfort. She's frustrated, confused, and feels like she's going in circles.

At 40 years old, she's watching her body change and wondering if this is her fate. She sees her mom who can't even walk up a moderate incline because of debilitating knee pain. Or her mother-in-law who blatantly told her that "her body will never be what it used to be" as her MIL suffers for days with back spasms on the couch. Part of her refuses to accept that "this is just how it's going to be." However, she's also carrying this heavy belief that when something happens to your body, it's going to stay that way forever, especially in menopause because that is what she has seen. She's read books like "The Body Keeps the Score," which, while valuable, has left her with this sense that damage is permanent.

Here's what really gets me: no one has actually looked at her body comprehensively to understand what's really going on.

And this, right here, is exactly why I created The Estrogen Project.

The epidemic of women accepting pain as normal

My friend's story isn't unique. It's the story of millions of women who are told their pain is "just part of getting older" or "something you'll have to learn to live with." They are commended by loved ones for "just pushing through." Women who bounce from practitioner to practitioner, getting temporary relief but never any real answers. My friend's acupuncturist told her that eventually there comes an age where running just isn't possible for the body.

Her acupuncturist is twenty-something. I then remind her of Natalie Grabow, an 80-year-old grandmother from Mountain Lakes, New Jersey, who became the oldest woman to finish the Ironman World Championship in Kona, Hawaii, on October 11, 2025.

What they don't know is that there's actually a name for what many of them are experiencing. Recent research has coined the term "Musculoskeletal Syndrome of Menopause" to describe the collection of symptoms that affect over 70% of women during this transition.

Seventy percent. Think about that.

This isn't some rare or random condition. It's not "in your head." It's not something you just have to accept. It's a real, recognized syndrome that affects the majority of women as a result of their lifestyle and changing hormones, and yet most women - and even many healthcare providers - have never heard of it.

The knowledge gap that's keeping women in pain

Here's what makes me angry: the information exists. The research is there. We understand the mechanisms behind why women's bodies change during perimenopause and menopause. We know why that hip pain develops, why movement becomes harder, and why recovery takes longer - including the role of the immense number of nerve endings around the hip and low back.

But this knowledge isn't reaching the women who need it most. This is not taught in school and women aren't given the tools they need from the people they are trusting with their health.

Instead, women are told to "just stretch more" or "try some anti-inflammatories" or "maybe it's stress." They're sent for MRIs that show "nothing significant" and left feeling like they must be imagining things or just getting old.

The truth is, 40% of women experiencing musculoskeletal symptoms during menopause have completely normal imaging. Their pain is real, their limitations are valid, but the changes happening in their bodies are often invisible to traditional diagnostic methods.

The power of understanding what's actually happening

When women finally understand what's really going on in their bodies during this transition, everything changes. Yes, your 20-year-old body is not going to return. But you can feel vibrant, energetic, and confident in this new body without restriction. Not only do your symptoms improve, but your entire relationship with your body and your health changes.

They stop accepting "this is the inevitability of aging" as an answer. Because it's not. They stop feeling crazy when their pain doesn't show up on scans. They stop apologizing for needing help with something they used to do easily and they stop feeling bad for asking for a better answer.

Most importantly, they start advocating for themselves in ways they never did before.

My friend doesn't need another practitioner telling her to stretch her piriformis or suggesting she needs more rest. She needs someone who understands that her body is going through profound changes that affect everything from her muscle fibers to her connective tissue to her pain processing. Intelligent and progressive movement is what's needed.

She needs education about what's actually happening, not just treatment for symptoms.

Why proper guidance changes everything

The women who successfully navigate this transition aren't the ones who just find the right treatment. They're the ones who gain a deep understanding of what's happening in their bodies and learn to work with these changes rather than against them.

They understand that their pain isn't a sign of weakness or aging - it's their body's way of communicating that something needs attention. They learn that temporary relief from treatments can be the beginning of healing, not the end goal or as their forever bridge to feeling "decent."

Most importantly, they discover that they have far more power over their experience than they ever realized.

The truth about what's possible

Here's what I told my friend, and what I want every woman reading this to know:

Your hip pain is not your destiny. Your body feeling unreliable is not inevitable. The frustration of going in circles with treatments that don't last is not something you have to accept. There's more — you just haven't been taught it yet.

But getting different results requires a different understanding and belief.

It requires working with someone who sees the bigger picture - how your hormones affect your fascia, how your fascia affects your movement patterns, how your movement patterns affect your pain experience, and how your pain experience affects your nervous system.

It requires education, not just treatment. Understanding, not just management.

Why The Estrogen Project exists

I didn't create The Estrogen Project to add another voice to the chorus of "try this exercise" or "take this supplement." I created it because women deserve to understand what's actually happening in their bodies during this transition.

Because when you understand the why behind your symptoms, you can finally address the root causes instead of just chasing temporary relief.

Because you deserve practitioners who see the whole picture, not just the part that's currently hurting.

Because your pain matters, your experience is valid, and your desire to feel strong and capable in your body is not unrealistic - it's your right.

Your moment of choice

Every woman reaches a moment where she has to decide: Am I going to accept that this is "just how it is," or am I going to demand better answers?

My friend is at that moment. Maybe you are too.

Your body is not broken. It's changing. And with the right understanding, you can work with these changes instead of being defeated by them.

The Estrogen Project exists to give women the knowledge and support they need to take back their power during this transition.

Reference

1. Wright VJ, Schwartzman JD, Itinoche R, Wittstein J. The musculoskeletal syndrome of menopause. Climacteric. 2024;27(5):466-472.